Real life

A good sadist is hard to find

It’s true. Somewhere out there is the elusive perfect sadist.

I’m not a lifestyle sub, so I don’t want to be dominated 24-7. Hell, I don’t even want to be submissive 3-7! For me, it’s a purely sexual thing. Finding a sadist that isn’t an asshole? It’s difficult. My ex was a good dom in the bedroom, but he was also a jerk – violent outside the bedroom as well. That’s not what I want, not what I need.

I need a dom who takes me where I need to go… where I am afraid to go alone… where I dread going but desperately want to go. I desire to be led. I wish to feel pain in the moment when my dom feels pleasure – it’s the ultimate juxtaposition.  But a true sadist, one who is completely uninterested in others’ pleasure? Not my cup of tea.

And the fuckin’ sociopaths out there? No thank you, kind Sir. I think I’ll pass.

I’m reminded of the Law and Order CI episode when Goren (a moment while I regulate my heartbeat) says that Nicole was with the dominating man because (and you’ll forgive me for butchering the quote) “being with him gave her permission to do unspeakable things” and I suppose that’s at the heart of my sub side. I like to do things that my upbringing and society have taught me not to do.

Sadists wanted… Assholes need not apply.

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