Real life

Mindfucking

I’ve been thinking about sex… a lot.  Mind you, it isn’t unusual for me to have sex on the brain, but here of late? I’ve gone ’round the bend.  I wonder, is this what it’s like to be a teenage boy? No wonder they’re so awkward and they smell funny all the time  😉

I recently asked someone to get out of my brain  and they responded with a simple, “no” so I’ve been engaged in a fairly steady mindfucking session with them since. This extended cerebral coitus has produced interesting results…

First, I keep waking up with hands that smell like pussy. My pussy,mind you.

Second, I keep looking at human beings – everywhere –  like they’re juicy peaches.

Third, I’ve become completely useless. Well, not completely useless but definitely not as focused on the tedium of life as much as I normally am.

It’s my fault, really. I went too long between meals, so to speak. Consequently, I’m a hungry wawbat. A very hungry wawbat. Now, I’m not fixin’ to explode (at least I don’t think so) but I feel as if I should warn my Friday night company of the very real dangers of approaching a hungry wawbat. Sure, they’ve been teasing said wawbat for weeks, but I still worry about their safety and sanity…

  • Approach the North American wawbat with caution. A wawbat can sense movement and has great peripheral vision.
  • A wawbat has sharp teeth and an even sharper tongue.
  • Once you’ve gained the wawbat’s trust, it may be wise to restrain her before she realizes what your intentions are  😉
  • Do not be lulled into a false sense of security… never turn your back on a wawbat.
  • While a wawbat will never devour her own young, she will devour nearly any other warm blooded creature- including you
  • A wawbat’s growl can be heard for miles away. A semi-domesticated wawbat may be quieter, but you never know when a wawbat will return to their animal ways.
  • A wawbat can often be pacified by allowing her to suck on something
  • Never poke a wawbat, oh hell, who am I kidding… poke away.

I’m just sayin’

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