Music / Real life

Shut your mouth, wawbat

Here’s the mouth that needs to spend more time closed… yup, my mouth.

Don’t misunderstand… my bread and butter is talking. A critical component to that professional talking is the ability to listen and think simultaneously. It’s not an arena in which I can stop, contemplate, form a thoughtful response, and deliver said response after a nice pause. I must quickly suss out the questions and comments I receive and be ready with a response immediately – a solid response. I’m good at what I do. I’m witty, insightful, and oh so very quick on my feet.

I don’t want to lose that skill, but I do not need to do that in my everyday life. Some of the people I respect most – many of them are new in my life – don’t do that. Their attentiveness makes me feel validated. I’d like to be able to give that gift to others.

As  I’ve been been researching a bit on power exchange, slave contracts, etc… I’ve found more than one reference to the need to hear what someone is saying… to let them finish… to not speak until they’re finished… and preferably? Not to even form a response in your mind until they’ve stopped speaking. I’m reading a book on Buddhism right now that stresses the importance of attending to life, to people, to whatever-the-hell-is-happening at the moment. Existentialism – particularly any psychological intervention that utilizes it – appeals to me but it is not a comfortable fit. I wonder, if like shoes, I could break it in if I wore it around enough?

Listening and not preparing a response while I do so? That, my friends, is a hard one for me. I’ve been toying with it recently… been trying that on for size. It does not come naturally to me at all. It makes me rather itchy, actually.  Someone begins to tell me something or ask me something? My wheels start spinning – or perhaps they simply never stop? I’m missing out on nuance and likely missing out on content.

I’m trying, though, to keep the mouth closed a bit more.  I know, I know, shaddup already!

Garbage (Shut Your Mouth) live

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2 thoughts on “Shut your mouth, wawbat

  1. You know it’s interesting. There is a person with whom I have regular dealings that frequently forms responses when you haven’t finished the first sentence of whatever you are saying. You can see him start and catch himself. You know that you won’t get a second sentence unless you rush and/or shout. I know he is done listening anyway. It makes me want to stop and just say get on with it. More to the point, it makes me not want to deal with this person in any way shape or form.

    I know I do it from time to time, but I hope I never become that guy, the one who does it consistently. Guess, it might be worth making a conscious effort.

  2. It is worth the effort, I think… I hope… I know I’m a work in progress! There are two people in my life in particular that inspire me to be a better listener – they are amazing.

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