Here’s the mouth that needs to spend more time closed… yup, my mouth.
Don’t misunderstand… my bread and butter is talking. A critical component to that professional talking is the ability to listen and think simultaneously. It’s not an arena in which I can stop, contemplate, form a thoughtful response, and deliver said response after a nice pause. I must quickly suss out the questions and comments I receive and be ready with a response immediately – a solid response. I’m good at what I do. I’m witty, insightful, and oh so very quick on my feet.
I don’t want to lose that skill, but I do not need to do that in my everyday life. Some of the people I respect most – many of them are new in my life – don’t do that. Their attentiveness makes me feel validated. I’d like to be able to give that gift to others.
As I’ve been been researching a bit on power exchange, slave contracts, etc… I’ve found more than one reference to the need to hear what someone is saying… to let them finish… to not speak until they’re finished… and preferably? Not to even form a response in your mind until they’ve stopped speaking. I’m reading a book on Buddhism right now that stresses the importance of attending to life, to people, to whatever-the-hell-is-happening at the moment. Existentialism – particularly any psychological intervention that utilizes it – appeals to me but it is not a comfortable fit. I wonder, if like shoes, I could break it in if I wore it around enough?
Listening and not preparing a response while I do so? That, my friends, is a hard one for me. I’ve been toying with it recently… been trying that on for size. It does not come naturally to me at all. It makes me rather itchy, actually. Someone begins to tell me something or ask me something? My wheels start spinning – or perhaps they simply never stop? I’m missing out on nuance and likely missing out on content.
I’m trying, though, to keep the mouth closed a bit more. I know, I know, shaddup already!
Garbage (Shut Your Mouth) live