Music / Real life

Good Enough to Give

i have heard it said that a Master cannot truly be a Master until He has mastered Himself.

i believe this to be true.

i’ve seen my fair share of Doms and Tops that assume superordinate roles yet who are not “Masters” (as i understand the term) whether they choose to preface their monikers with the word or not. Subordinate types aren’t immune to this… i’ve seen people call themselves slave with as much emotional investment as one makes in ordering a Caramel Frappuccino. That’s all well and good… to each his/her own, but the term “Master” means something significant to me… as does “slave”

i’m thinking on this today… but from the other side. If Master/slave relationships are true power exchanges… if a slave wishes to give true power over to a Master… is that even possible if the slave has no mastery or sense of ownership first?  If i have no sense of mastery in my own life… if i do not own my own life or actions… if i am not responsible for my life… do i have anything to give? i guess, in a nutshell… the question is: how can i give away something that is never been truly mine?

phrenology vintagei struggle a great deal with the language of power exchange. It’s a curse sometimes… to over-think… to get tangled up in the language. Still, the language is important. Our ability to convey our emotions and thoughts to each other in a meaningful way is one of our defining human characteristics.

The word Master… the word slave… these are so potent and so packed with meaning. i wish to own the language and to use it without reservation. i have seen what Master looks like… i have seen what His slave looks like… both are beautiful and powerful in their own right.

It is, perhaps, hubris… thinking that a level of perfection should or even could be achieved… some magical threshold that a person could cross that makes them “good enough” to be Master or “worthy” to be slave. Perhaps there is no “perfect” time when these roles should be assumed – maybe people grow into them?

This is a great struggle for me… the language… deciphering what it means to me and to others… and honoring its potency. Using the language without cheapening it in any way… this is important to me.

i find the language morphing often now in my thoughts and speech… organically… yet, i wish to say it… to hear it… without surprise.

i wish to feel it.

Good Enough by Evanescence

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3 thoughts on “Good Enough to Give

  1. Hey! If I may ask, how would you say the song Good Enough by Evanescence stands compared to what you have written here? Is it confirming what you say, is it going against what you say, or are you questioning the song as a way of letting someone be the “Master” over you, and still making you feel good enough? I am really intrigued by what you have written. I especially liked “using the language without cheapening it in any way”, and also “Perhaps there is no “perfect” time when these roles should be assumed – maybe people grow into them?”. That last quote is why I ask if you mean that the song is confirming that or not. Otherwise, I really liked what you wrote!

    • First, i apologize for the delay in response. i’ve not been on the blog for nearly a month due to personal issues.
      When i heard the evanescence song, it resonated with me because i was struggling with relinquishing control to the Master in my life.
      we all serve Masters of some form or another. It is religious for some, it is social constructs for others, and still others (like myself) live in power exchange relationships where we enter into consensual Master/slave relationships.

      i found that i grew into a subservient role. True, there are elements of my personality that are very slave-like. i thrive in service to others, but i had such trouble wrapping my mind around two things… and both are addressed (to my way of thinking) in this song

      1. was i good enough for Him
      2. was He worthy to Master

      i knew that – to even question these things – would be considered wrong by some in Power Exchange relationships, but i had to be honest with myself and with Him and with the members of His house. i believe i am good enough and i am confidant that He worthy to Master… or i would not seek to serve Him.

      The song also dealt with issues of the heart and the last line of the song has heart-breaking clarity… this offer of service… this trust… is a powerful gift and not one given (or received) lightly. “So take care what You ask of me, ’cause i can’t say no”

      i hope that answers your question. i see that you are an evanescence fan and the music is beautiful.

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