Fact is, i’ve been there
But this country i call home said i could marry MrX because he had testicles and i had ovaries… so what if he was a violent jerk… it was a proper marriage… disastrous, though.
Ah, but when J wanted to be my wife? i didn’t have to say “no” because the law said a “yes” was impossible.
Now, i can’t marry any of my lovers, because our world hasn’t caught up to its own history when marriage was NOT based on one man + one woman. i can’t legalize a triad or a quad, can’t easily own a home or car with them, can’t raise a child with them without major issues.
i hold the hands of lovers knowing that i’ll never “put a ring on that”
i trip on pronouns in certain discussions
Add to this, the fact that i choose to live in a power exchange relationship
my heart finds no validation in vanilla circles
i don’t want to get married
if i wanted to take a wife
if i wanted to be A wife rather than THE wife
i couldn’t do that
i want that CHOICE
This morning, for some reason, that saddens me more than it usually does. Sometimes, it pisses me off, but today? There is just sorrow.
i’ve been learning to experience fear without living in it and i’m doing my damnedest to make my way through life with a conscious choice to face fear but not to make decisions out of that fear and i can’t help but wonder….
Is that the issue for my country? Is it just plain old-fashioned fear? If so, what is it that they fear?
What are you afraid of America?
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis featuring Mary Lambert