The day wore a weariness born of sleep deprivation (just a smidgen) and hard choices. i visited my therapist, made some decisions, and then off to work i went. The day was full, but i managed to fit in a bit of a nap (skipping a haircut to do so). Tonight, at Sangha, bd talked about discomfort and the discussion turned to pain vs discomfort, getting out of comfort zones, fear, adrenaline, and growth. We were all over the place but it kept coming back to the purpose of discomfort – if there was one – and whether we could grow as a result of it. It was a very nice Sangha and i stayed after a bit to chat briefly about my father… and some of the choices i made about him.
i am certain that the days and weeks (maybe years) ahead will include thoughts about this, feelings will surface, i’ll take them in turn. i’ve made the best decision for me and for my growth but it is neither easy nor terribly palatable. How did bd‘s reading go? “Not everything you put in your mouth has to give you a mouthgasm” or something like it.
Not all things in life taste good.
This doesn’t taste good… but it’s good for me.
Defying Gravity (as sung by Idina Menzel)