Music / Quotes / Real life

i choose


On fet the other day, someone dear to my heart shared her thoughts. She spoke of a Master she respected (one i respect as well) and how that Master spoke about how it was their task to make sure they helped slaves in their service… help them to be successful.

That way of thinking is indicative of the way that my Master lives Power Exchange as well. When i was initially introduced to the world of Power Exchange, i had the fortune of coming into a well-established family. Many of the “glitches” were worked out by the time i came to Master’s collar.

Because of my personal history, i was suspicious… resistant, even. i knew what it was to have power stripped from me. i fully understood the cost of belonging to someone who wished to bend me to their will for their own gratification. While i found sexual domination and servitude to be a titillating prospect, i was genuinely shocked to hear my Master’s alpha slave speak of her slavery as a growing experience. Was sex part of their relationship? Sure… but just a fraction of it.

i did not come to this relationship without struggle or without careful consideration.  While i was collared to Him and accepted Him as super-ordinate, it took a while before i thought of Him as my Master. It was longer still before the word would slip from my lips. The more i learned about Him and saw the ethical way in which He ran His House… led His slave… served His community? The more i was pleased… attracted to the life… accepting of the language.

i hoped for growth, and that is what i have experienced… am experiencing. The ways in which i am improved through this relationship continue to surprise me.

Part and parcel of the Power Exchange – in my mind – is growth. Even His discipline of me is geared towards growth and development. That’s a sticking point for lots of folks, i think… the idea that i can be punished by my Master and that i would accept and even expect that to happen if i did not honor Him, His House, and His property (yes, that would be me… His property). Perhaps because of my background i look at the etymology of the word “discipline”. It means to teach. To teach.

And, so my Master has become part Teacher, part Leader, part Sovereign Lord, part Love, part Guide, part Gatekeeper. In some ways, He is like the most comprehensive life coach ever. Similar to a parent, my Master tasks Himself with assisting His charge with growth… He wants me to be the most authentic and exceptional human i can be.

i, in turn, give Him service, obedience, honor… i give Him me.

This is not true of all Master/slave relationships. Not all slaves desire growth. Not all Masters care about their slaves’ growth, either.

Why all of this tonight? i made notes about my thoughts the other day, when i read the post on fet and then this weekend i realized how many people know me as bat… know about my relationship… but are solidly outside the realm of Power Exchange. They have not asked me why i do what i do… why i am a slave… His slave.

i want to tell them regardless.

i am His slave because i choose to be His slave. He is worthy of that trust.  His Mastery is good and beneficial to me. i serve Him because i wish to serve, not because i am compelled to do so. i wish for His life to be easier just as He wishes mine to be more rich and authentic. i love Him because He is not only my Master but a Man worthy of that love.

i am His because i cannot imagine it otherwise.

Because We Believe (Andrea Bocelli)

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