Because of the narcolepsy, i can experience some interesting reality-meets-fantasy moments. They tend to happen when i’m either exhausted or in a place where i am not being stimulated; they can come when i am totally calm, still, and relaxed.
i took a shower about an hour ago and had one of those such moments.
Somewhere after washing my hair and sponging off, i relaxed into the streams of water and found myself mesmerized by the thought of tracing a yoni on skin… swept away with the palm of my hand grazing a nipple… my middle finger starting at the bottom of the yoni…. circling around its indigo edges clockwise and then sliding up the center until my fingertip reached its inked clitoris. It was at that precise moment that i had a sharp intake of breath as i felt a peculiar awareness of the femaleness that lived in the Man.
It reminded me of those tiny portals that people place in strawbale homes. They are often called Truth Windows; they provide a glimpse beyond the surface into the structure where things are not always what they may appear.
i felt – in that moment – an odd connection to Him that went beyond what i had before… a realization… some sort of communion. It was as if i had just had an encounter with a kindred spirit.
The spawn had taken a shower this morning and there wasn’t much hot water left, and as the water went from warm to cold, it iced me back to reality. i was utterly alone… grabbing for my towel… wet and shivering but smiling.
It took me a moment to gather my wits – damn cold water.
i could have lingered there longer. i felt like there was more to know.
i sat with it for a bit… partly to savor the moment and partly in hopes that i could slip back into the trance… but alas… life beckoned.
Lorde (Biting Down)
Yes, i realize the connotations…
but i still like the song and the abandonment she has while singing it.
Its beat and its rawness are fitting to my morning.
Credit where credit is due:
Yoni image: “Yoni Prayer” by Heidi Richardson Evans
Truth window images found at: http://onelessbrickinthewall.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Scan-29.jpeg