i have often viewed sympathy as something on the way to empathy… sort of a stepping stone from saying…
“Hey… you’re hurt, man and that sucks” to saying “i feel your pain, bro”.
Today, though? i’m realizing that there are times when i feel empathy for someone without being sympathetic. i can engage with people with whom i have no shared interests or connection or rub up against someone with whom i completely disagree … i can have absolutely no feelings of offering them encouragement or support if they are doing things i do not wish to encourage. i can still feel the pain and taste it without being partial to the person or their actions.
So , today i feel empathy but can do nothing much with it but whisper it to the wind and release it. These are my feelings. i suffer with some of them because i wish it were not so. i realize i cannot make it not so by wishing, though, so i have to look within rather than without.
i generally hate the word “entitled” as it chaffs the slave brain a bit and it also reminds me of privilege in our society, but this feeling today? It’s not that kind of entitlement at all. Today, this message to me… about myself… to remind myself that i have certain rights:
i am entitled to overcome adversity and sorrow. i am entitled to overcome insecurity. i am entitled to seek peace and i am entitled to my feelings. i am entitled to hold love in my heart regardless of anyone else’s feelings. i am entitled to sweet memories and i am entitled to choose to live in peace rather than to fan flames of discord.
Most importantly, i am entitled to pursue growth and to become the best version of myself that i can create out of flesh and blood and experience and energy.
i am entitled to be me.
That is all that i can be.
i cannot control or dictate how anyone else lives their life but i am entitled to grow into the most wonderful version of myself that i can possibly achieve on this plane and i just may continue on the next one as well. Who knows?
i’ve written numerous drafts in the last couple of days… in order to process what’s been happening in my life. i’ve written some lyrical shit, hard shit, wonderful shit, and even some crappy shit and i’m not going to post that here now because it feels wrong and non-productive. Since lines of communication have been cut, my decision not to post has nothing to do with shielding anyone else, for they won’t be here unless they choose to follow me here. i am simply choosing. i am choosing what to do and i am choosing what not to do. i am entitled to not post that shit because …
Nope. It does not matter one little bit. i could splash myself inside-out all over the screen and it might entertain a few people or make others sad but it would not accomplish a damn thing.
i’m going to stick to the shit i’m “entitled to” and head this other way for awhile.
Care to join me?
Image Source: http://mimiandeunice.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/ME_363_Entitled.png