’til the night closes in

i forgot to breathe for a few moments this morning. One care drove north and the other south and i suddenly gasped for air as if i’d come up from the depths of an ocean. my lungs demanded attention… i didn’t realize i had pressed my palm over my mouth… my nose… willing myself not to cry. The tumbled mess … Continue reading →

what’s the use of jivin’?

i’ve had multiple occasions recently to pause – to think of my response to a situation – to practice right action and right speech. Sometimes it’s not a biggie… like a recent hint of road rage that got quashed easily when i simply did not engage. Other times it is more difficult, like when it … Continue reading →

mother-load

Yes, load… not lode. She is a hardened soul… forged from abject poverty, horrific childhood abuse, an utterly destructive first marriage and a pathetic attempt at a second one. Her one child is a disappointment to her while the other (me) reminds her unintentionally of all the missteps she made as a mother. The rest … Continue reading →

world of my creation

i have no need of pleasure or release but i will touch myself when my body finally relaxes into bed tonight because i need to remember your touch because i would prefer to think that you’re simply getting a glass of water or brushing your teeth or retrieving your black bag because i want to imagine that you … Continue reading →

me and my shadow

Nice slow quiet(ish) weekend… Shadow dancing Continue reading →

i love myself as well

Out of my mouth comes a simple statement… spoken in response to my spawn’s frustration over trigonometry. She has been dog-sitting for me while i was at the kink event… i arrive home and cook veggie chili for us. i sit across the table from her and she spills out a rant about her feelings … Continue reading →

slut like me

Tomorrow is a much-anticipated day around these parts. Hundreds of kinky fucks will descend on a private location for a fantastic weekend of consensual hedonistic fun. There will be education and exhibition… pain and pleasure… sex and oh so much naked… all kinds of naked. i’ll get a chance to see some old friends and … Continue reading →

that one won’t count

It was annoying as fuck… you sitting in the bed next to me reading. Were you really reading? Pretending, i suspected. Simple enough… touch myself… So flippant, you were. “That pussy isn’t going to fuck itself and i’m not fucking you until you cum for me, bitch” i was horny as hell but wanted teeth … Continue reading →

why buddha is in my bathroom…

… and my living room… and bedroom… and why Jesus and Mary and Ganesh often join him. AgnosticBuddhistRamble ahead, kiddies… Buckle up. i have a small Buddha in my bathroom that annoys my spawn. my spawn is not Buddhist or even Buddhist-adjacent. It isn’t the Buddha  statue that bothers her… it bugs her that it is … Continue reading →

the walls were wet with your life

One of Master’s recent updates included part of the lyrics to this song. Having never heard of the musician (Sufjan Stevens) i googled… and found the song. i also googled the artist and the meaning of the word, “Djohariah” (his actual sister, apparently). And then i had to look up “gloriole” because it didn’t ring … Continue reading →